July 26, 2004

Humor

"Honey, do your horse"

We went out for drinks last Friday, people from work, and I brought my wife. Near the end of the evening after many drinks, Sue said "Honey, do your horse." Intrigued, or perhaps confused, people began looking at me extpectantly. I felt the pressure to perform, and tried to relax. The key to doing a good horse, and I can't emphasize this enough, is that you must be totally relaxed. This leads to a kind of serious look on your face, which leads people to believe you take this seriously, and that somehow makes it funnier. So it starts with a deep breath, a high-pitched wheezing, followed by a stuttering neighing sound, and finally the flapping lips part. If you're standing, throw in a clawing motion with one leg, like you're making a line in the dirt. For some reason they found this hilarious. Glasses were removed, to wipe the tears. "Again!" they cried. All in all, a fun evening, made just a little more memorable by a farm animal imitation. The next day, the team had a project meeting. The atmosphere was more relaxed and enjoyable, even though it was still work. When the conversation turned to Friday's night out, it was agreed that what people remembered most was my wife's plea to do my horse. We're definitely going out again with these people, and I'll be ready. I'm working on my goose.

Posted by randy at 04:07 PM

October 07, 2003

Humor

Nigerian saga

Well, the e-mails continue, but they're not so exciting, so I won't be posting every one here. Basically he is now asking me to come to Nigeria, send a lawyer to Nigeria, or, Option C, pay his lawyer to represent me! So I just sent an e-mail, suppposedly to his lawyer, to find out how much he wants. I can't believe anyone would actually fall for this scam.

Posted by randy at 07:54 AM

October 06, 2003

Humor

Again with Nigeria...

Here's the latest message from Nigeria:

Hello MR. Randy,
How are you today? I will send you the Authorisation letter from the court and a copy of the deposite Certificate of the fund, first thing tomorrow morning , i am not in the office right now, so expect it tomorrow and immediatly you get it, call me on this number +234-80235-50613,so that my lawyer can go ahead with the proceedure, hope hear from you soon,


Rgegards,
Mr. Shola Martins

==============================================

And my reply this time:

Hello Mr. Shola,
Okay! I gave your phone number to my lawyer, so now we get going! My lawyer will call you! Should my lawyer call your lawyer, or call you direct?

Randy

Posted by randy at 09:50 AM

Humor

Nigeria cont'd

Here's my latest message to my buddy Shola (I've edited out my actual info for this blog, to keep the spam to a minimum):

mr. shola,
sorry for no reply long time! this is my email at work, so didn't see your meesag until today monday mornign. I hope i didn't delay to long and miss the ship! Here is the informations you are looking:

Personal e-mail: (my throwaway e-mail)@yahoo.com
Full name: Randy A. Yahuie
Fax Number: (my e-fax number)

Can you send me a fax of your documents to show you are real thing? then I send my bank account informations!

Randy

Posted by randy at 08:49 AM

Humor

News from Nigeria

Well, since I was away from work on the weekend, my Nigerian friend has been missing me. Here are the messages I found in my box this morning, in chronological order:

Subject: can't underestinate the confidentality and urgency,so back back to me immediatly for the next step

Hello Randy,
How are you today? sorry I have long meeting yesterday, so I could not reply your email, I am giving you my words, there is nothing to be afraid about, it won't take much to conclude this transaction, when you get to know me better, you will understand who is dealing with you, I have contacted my lawyer, all I need is your co-operation your confidentiality because of the risk involve in such hug amount and this information is needed from you by my lawyer to know how serious you are, like,

(I ) Full names and personal email address, phone and fax number, for easy communication,
(Ii) Personal Bank A/c in formations, to prepare you as the only Beneficiary, for transfer reason.
(iii) Photocopy of passport page of your international passport for identification means or photocopy of your drivers license.
However, immediately this in formations reach me today, my lawyer will contact you, pls, remember that it is confidential and urgent, yes your money is 6.8 million dollars, i want the safety of this fund ,ok?

==========================================

Subject: you can cal me: +234-80235-50613

(no body for this e-mail)

==========================================

Subject: WHAT IS HAPPENING? EVERYTHING IS SET AND PREPARED

Hello Mr. Randy,
How are you? Hope you are in good health, I have passed all necessary instruction to the right authorities for arrangement, you are now the delay, fund is ready for transfer, but the absence of your information and attention is needed,

===========================================

So now I just need to come up with another e-mail to find out how hard he wants to work for this...

Posted by randy at 08:01 AM

October 03, 2003

Humor

My Reply

OK, so here is my reply to the Nigerian scam e-mail I received today. Just for the hell of it, I'm pretending to be a limited-english speaker:

Mr. martins,
..- thanks you many for this oportunity! I hope I understand you rightly- I get 6.8 million dollars?? whoopee! please sned to my acount right now! I can send you me account numbers address and things but first i want to be careful. sometimes offers in the mail are not the real thing!! i find address of nigeria trade union on the internet, and send my informations asap! please let me know when you receive my accounts infomation!

sorry for my english!
randy

Posted by randy at 11:48 AM

Humor

My Nigerian Friend

I got an e-mail from the head of the Nigerian Trade Union today! I feel honored that he picked me to receive $6.8 million dollars - what a deal. Here's the actual e-mail I received:

Subject: URGENT; INVESTMENT PROPOSAL AND ENQUIRY
Dear Friend,

How are you? Hope fine. My name is Mr. Shola Martins, The head of trade union of My Country. I am writing to seek for assistance to help set up an investment with the sum of usd.27.5 m, (twenty million five hundred thousand united states dollars) form Account #14-255-2004/utb/t in the Central Bank Of Nigeria, as the trade union as decided to create a measure of Investment in a suitable Country like yours.

However, because of the risk involved in transferring a huge amount of this nature, the Union as reach a decision to share with any honest person, who will successful help in this transaction 25%, because the person will be involved in all aspect, as it involves his or her cooperation.

So, if you are interested I will need you to send me your private phone number and fax, photocopy of passport, and your bank account. So we can send to you the documents relating to this transfer immediately you receive this email for confirmation and approval reason.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Best Regards,
Mr. Shola martins,
Head of Trade union

pls, also rply to: mr_shola_marttins@yahoo.com

Now I'm trying to think of a good reply, just to have a little fun with my new friend. Stay tuned.

Posted by randy at 07:44 AM

October 02, 2003

Humor

Euro screws the Dollar

I love this picture - it's apparently a Moscow ad campaign gone bad. It shows the Euro.. er.. having its way with the Dollar. There's more info in the article.

euroscrew.jpg

Posted by randy at 08:30 AM

October 01, 2003

Humor

Stealth Disco

Here's a website that made me laugh out loud at work. Stealth Disco is the art of disco dancing behind an unsuspecting co-worker, while an accomplice films the attack. Start by looking at the "Best Of" section. Turn up the sound. I can't wait to try this in my office. If I do, I'll post the video!

Posted by randy at 11:36 AM